“Behold I tell you a mystery, ‘We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body put on immortality.” — I Corinthians 15:50-53
One of my biggest fears with HD is that I will not be able to use my mind as much as I would like to. I love to read and write (well except all that handwritten paperwork for my job that looks more like chicken scratch than handwriting!). I have kept journals over the years sharing any experience that might have affected me that day. And I love to read and read and read, so much that I bought a kindle to download books in less than 60 seconds and be able to carry them with me where ever I want. As much as I like the kindle for being handy, it’s not like having one of those books in my hand. I have to confess that I am still ordering the printed versions. I love seeing those brown packages when I get home and being able to open it up and peruse through the entire book! That is definitely one of my weaknesses!
It gives me a lot of peace to know that when I do go to my rest in Lord, that the next thing I will see is the face of my Redeemer as Job said, in a glorified resurrected body with no more sin and no more problems. I don’t think I appreciated that fact when I was younger because we don’t think we will ever age or get sick. It’s only when we get older and got some end-stage illness like HD that we appreciate the fact we will not always be this way. My eyes will be able to see from one corner of the earth to another, I will be able to run and not run out of breath, I will be able climb any mountain without getting tired. My body won’t hurt or ache!! My mind will be so clear that I will be able to read whatever I want without forgetting anything. My mind will be able to create for the glory of God!
Being involved with church was giving me that wonderful mental boast that I needed so much because I am teaching a Sabbath School class and I have been able to preach one sermon since I have offered to help. The sermon I was able to share was called, “Living with Adversity: the 12 Step Process.” which I will share in the blogs to come. I was so blessed and I had so many people say, “please share that message in my church. I was so blessed that others need to hear it as well.” And I am definitely planning on it for the future.
I have decided for now to take a Sabbatical from teaching or preaching at this time so I can continue to write in my bio and put together a devotional dedicated to those going through difficult times. I want to write in this blog and that be turned in a 30 day or 365 day devotional that people could turn to for strength, specifically for those going through HD, as well as those going through any kind of end stage illness or trials and tribulations. The bio is a big project but I want to share those experiences with the world, especially those which made me the person I am today. To God be the glory!!
For now, my greatest fear is losing the capabilities of my mind and that will be the biggest prayer I have.
Father, You know how fearful I am of not being able to use my mind. I ask that You keep it sharp for as long as I can read and write for You glory. After that let me have peace that I can be laid to rest knowing that one day, I will be raised up again but with a glorious sinless body and that glorious sinless mind. In Your Name, Amen.